Ten Star Service

                                                  

At the beginning of the school year we cleaned off our cluttered dining room table and decided to attempt family meals together. Many have already discovered the beauty of family dining, but we’ve been a little slow to join this crowd. For the past few years we’ve generally made due with kids eating in the breakfast area and my husband and I sitting close by at the island. We knew this arrangement wouldn’t last forever, but it’s what we had become accustomed to.

Last year and the year before that the dining room table was my ten-year-old’s school work area, so between homeschooling classroom space, soccer practices, and a traveling husband who is rarely home for dinner we just didn’t give much thought to formal meal time.


Sensing it was time for a change I moved the school work area to the breakfast nook and announced all meals would now be at the dining room table. You might have thought I informed them we were going to Disney World! I had no idea what kind of enthusiasm this decision would generate. From the very moment we made the switch I’ve had four eager meal planners and service attendants vying for their chance to be the one who cooks, sets, serves and cleans. We even have an event planner each evening – because no dinner is complete without a dinner game and Ten Star Service.


At the center of our dinner event planning is a little box given to us a few years ago by some friends of ours (thanks Ferdie & Maria). Inside the box are dozens of little cards that suggest dinner conversation starters, games and ideas for family bonding. Some of our favorites are Word Whisperers, Ten Star Service, Pass the Pepper and Family Star. This is truly the highlight of our dinner. Each evening there is a great deal of discussion that precipitates exactly what we will be doing during dinner besides eating. And I am usually the last to find out just what game we will be playing and what cartoon character I may have to impersonate.


We’ve been laughing a lot lately and many evenings I arrive at a beautifully set table accompanied by a server with a folded towel over his arm waiting to take my order. On these occasions I find my daughters have created menus to go along with the dinner festivities. This is truly as the dinner card would suggest, “Ten Star Service.”


It makes me wonder why we didn’t try this sooner. I suppose we’ve been so busy that we weren’t paying attention – just so caught up in the routine of life.


This past week we were sitting around our newly broken-in dinner table and grabbed hands ready to pray. Just before we started, my six-year-old piped, “It’s like a decoration around the table. Look at our hands! They make a decoration.”


It was then that it struck me. My daughter was right - we were all together. There were no missing ingredients. It was the perfect decoration. Food, dinner games and Ten Star Service aside there is nothing more I would rather my table be decorated with then the faces of the ones I love.

You're Invited to Dinner

In many families the dinner table is a traditional space for sharing. One is likely to find laughter, inane banter, discipline and the recalling of events from the day.

Our family embraces this time-honored tradition; so one evening in accordance with dinner table bylaws I asked my 9-year-old son to tell his dad what he had done that day. Always the joker he responded with a crooked smile, “What do you mean Mom? I did a lot of things today.”

I gave him the look – the look that all moms give their irreverent children. I held his gaze for a moment before my easygoing husband interrupted, “Why don’t you tell me about your day, bud. How did it begin?”

With what appeared to be another stunt from his playbook my son tilted his head and spoke thoughtfully, “My day began by getting up. I never know whether to get up or stay in bed. I think it’s because I’m always so tired.”

I was prepared to pounce on his impudent reply before I recognized the sincerity in his voice. There was no hint of humor or sarcasm. In fact, it was as if he had been waiting all day for someone to come along and unlock the vault of his mind. My husband had cracked the safe with just the right combination of words. What he found was a wealth of information provided through a detailed accounting of our son’s rather routine day.

Moments like these remind me that my kids are interesting, fragile, and more than ready to share. However, I do not always find myself as tender and ready to listen. Their demands are so many and so frequent that I have difficulty maintaining a proper perspective where they are concerned.

I struggle consistently with how to block out the distractions children bring without blocking them out altogether. I want to hear my kids without it requiring a meltdown, a mediator or a disciplinarian, but too often this is exactly the point where I step in. Unfortunately, the result is that I sometimes miss the precious moments, the moments of innocence.

I long to really see my children and to see myself praising them for who they are and what they have done right rather than finding fault with them in their moments of weakness. Clearly, I must pay attention. I must resist the urge to say, “No, not now – later,” and I must not assume that my kids are headed down the path of mischief and mayhem. Why borrow trouble? There will be plenty of opportunities to correct them without anticipating imagined infractions.

Luke writes:
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.Luke 6:37-38

I am challenged by this scripture. These very words give me pause when I am tempted to withhold from my children the grace which is extended to me each day.

While addressing this challenge our family will continue to set the table with exciting stories serving up both grace and correction along with a fair helping of sarcasm and wit. Beyond that my hope is for our table to be an open forum where family and friends linger and laugh. Isn’t that what we all desire – a warm space to share our lives and the freedom to be ourselves.

“Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.”Proverb 17:1