May Showers vs. May Baths

It’s a Friday night, and I have a good reason for writing. This evening’s events surpassed the usual Facebook status update and merited a story in their own right.


So I guess I should start at the beginning.


The day began much like any other. It was a morning for getting clean. The boys had already been in and out of the shower, and now it was time for the girls to have a go. I had decreed showers as opposed to baths today, and this did not sit well with my strong-willed, six-year-old daughter.

Why this was a decree and not simply a suggestion is a subject of some debate. But let’s just say that this was my hill, and I chose to stand on it today amid tears and drama, drama, drama!


Since I am used to dealing with all kinds of antics I was not moved by my daughter's pleas for a bath, though she pronounced with great passion that she did not like showers. Was it only a week ago that this same child asked if she could take a piece of bread into the shower, just in case she got hungry?


Clearly, I did not grant this request.


I’m a terrible tyrant. I know.


After maybe ten minutes of wailing, gnashing of teeth, and losing a little of my own hair I noticed that the water was running, the crying had stopped, and laughter had taken its place. This should be a good sign – right?


Hmm. Never mind – peace was what I wanted and laughter meant peace!

My little ladybug bounded down the stairs not fifteen minutes later wrapped in a towel wearing a mischievous smile that I supposed was attached to the satisfaction of being clean.


The episode forgotten, we went on to spend a wonderful family day driving all over town and back home again for a fabulous Taco dinner. Following dinner we enjoyed ice cream sandwiches, a chapter from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, and the gentle removal of narwhal’s from little teeth (i.e. toothbrushing).

Upon our ascent up the stairs to tuck our submariners into bed my eyes took in all the clothes and toys that were strewn across the loft area and the floors of the kids’ bedrooms. Without fail this always causes my blood pressure to rise. Still I held my tongue as I walked from room to room until I picked up a wet raincoat that was lying on the bathroom floor. Curiously we had not been caught in the rain on this particular day.


“What is this doing in here on the floor?” I posed waving a green and white polka-dotted raincoat in the air.


“Oh! I wore that in the shower today because, remember Mommy, I don’t like showers,” quipped my six-year-old matter-of-factly as if this were a perfectly reasonable explanation.


“I don’t like to get my body wet because it’s too hot, but I didn’t wear the hood so I could wash my hair!” she beamed.


I stood there stunned and quickly shoved my head behind the bathroom door before my little problem-solver could see me explode into laughter. "What's wrong with Mommy?" the kids wondered aloud.


"I think she's upset," my husband assured them.


What is the proper response to your child wearing raingear in the shower? Whatever it is, clearly I had been outdone, and the hill I thought I had successfully defended earlier in the day had actually been overtaken by an ingenius six-year-old using the latest in water resistant technology.

Four-year-olds, Fitting Rooms and Foul Odors

Four-year-olds are fascinated with many things. Chief among these things are the noises and smells their bodies make. Come to think of it I’m not sure boys ever grow out of this stage.

Since this reality is never too far below the surface it was no surprise when my son announced his latest foul release in the fitting room today at Ross.

“Mommy, I just farted, and it STINKS!”

He was right, and I winced considering the woman who occupied the dressing room next to ours.

“I have such stinky FARTS!” he continued.

I didn’t argue. I was trying not to breathe.

“I don’t know why God made me this way, with such STINKY farts.”

I laughed wondering if God imagined this conversation when he was molding my little man-child. Regardless here we were with moms, grandmas and Ross’ associates serving as our hidden audience. I opened my mouth to respond to his question with encouragement and a chin-up sentiment, but before I could get the words out my little biohazard concluded, “But God made me this way.” With this statement he farted again, filling the dressing area with his own air of confidence.

He wasn’t concerned with who heard him discussing these intimate details, and he did not appear worried about who might benefit from his lack of self-control. He was only momentarily disrupted by his own discomfort and seemed to enjoy the conversation that ensued as a result.

At home during Bible time and throughout the course of our days we’ve been discussing how God made us each special and unique. We’ve been learning that God has a plan laid out for our lives and how he made each of us just the way he wants us. Apparently these words have found a home in my son for he is certain that he is wonderfully designed by God to emit foul odors – and he’s okay with that.

While I am delighted that my son has made peace with himself and his own unique smells, I am quite certain that God has greater plans in mind for him than mastering his bodily functions or being able to clear a room. Still I suppose that is quite a feat for a four-year-old.

Lights Out!

A week or so ago the power went out. It was Saturday night and only about 7:30 PM, so there was plenty of evening left, and I couldn’t convince my children otherwise.

In moments like these you really see your children’s imaginations come to life. Now my kids are pretty imaginative anyway, but for some reason a loss of power changes all the rules. Everything is new and scary. Bedrooms are taboo, and the living room becomes the open jungle. The family is officially on safari and struggling for their very lives. A large shadow on the wall or the settling of pipes in the floor is reason enough for any or all of the children to scream, huddle together, and bounce on and off Mom and Dad’s lap. The refrigerator is off limits and suddenly everyone needs popcorn. Bedtime is essentially out the window having been replaced with campout by candlelight. This is of course appropriate for a jungle safari. Board games are the peacemaker – that brilliant ray of light at the end of the tunnel and are, at the moment, better than sliced bread.

Normally this would be the perfect opportunity to spend that sought after quality time as a family, but after sickness and plenty of quantity time quality time isn’t exactly appealing to Mom and Dad.

With a box of tissues and a cup of lukewarm tea in my possession I wandered to my little alcove for quarantine and a date with my pillow. Unsurprisingly my passel of children followed my lead joining me and my husband on our full size bed. Earlier that day I could not have predicted that two adults and four children would be enjoying a paper, rock, scissors tournament in my bedroom.

This was only the first of many activities sparked by our sudden power outage. Yes this was becoming an event of Olympic proportions. The shadows which once sent each child running for cover were now a subject of great interest. As a result shadow puppets came to life all over our bedroom walls. These puppets gave rise to the inevitable discussion of monsters and scary stories which Dad quickly squelched. The children abandoned their scary tales easily and immediately replaced them with silly stories – very silly stories which involved varied forms of rhyme, alliteration and fantastic detail. Everyone had a turn and the laughter was infectious.

As time skipped along interest was given and taken from board games – Monopoly, Zooreka, Sorry, and Madagascar each had a fair shake. Additionally fascinating realities came to light in the dark.

The first response to the loss of power was not surprising. The children were disappointed that our evening had been altered – no Wii or movie tonight. These are of course traditional Saturday night family activities that would be missed. The kids, however, recovered nicely and with great zeal, but if I ever wondered how entrenched we are in modern technology a simple statement from my son reminded me with a smile. After excusing himself from a much anticipated game of Monopoly my nine-year-old called from an open bathroom door, “If you’re going to start without me, then email me!”

There is something about extreme darkness and an inability to change our situation that produces a need for everyone to be together. Even going to the bathroom can be too much separation, but thank God for the ever present option of email on one’s phone enabling us to keep in contact even at our most vulnerable station.

The overwhelming reality that superseded every game, activity, frustration and fear was the desire to be together and the knowledge that we should be together at all costs. I can hardly remember what we had planned for the evening before we lost power, but once the lights were out our course was determined, and our plans changed. Perhaps we had decided to travel in separate directions and pursue different activities, but thankfully high winds, a blackout, and nervous energy forced us into the same room to laugh, love and learn from each other.

In closing my nine-year-old later suggested that we pretend the lights are out every Saturday because it was so much fun. Sounds like a vote for family time to me, but maybe we could cheat just a little and have some popcorn and hot cocoa to go along with the candlelit craziness.

Show and Tell

Kids want to talk about what is important to them. When given the right opportunity they will pull out their treasures and invite others to join them in a world of innocence and play. For that reason we have incorporated Show and Tell into our homeschool. Show and Tell is fun, but it is also a terrific tool to help children overcome the fear of standing in front of people.

Some children struggle with the fear of public speaking while others embrace it with both arms. We have children in both camps. Our introductory Show and Tell confirmed this and was a bit like the Sesame Street piece “One of these kids is doing his own thing...”

The children prepared for their exposition by choosing a few items to share and drawing a number to determine who would go first. As I observed the goods that each child carried down the stairs from his or her room I noticed a theme. Three children were laden with blankets which cradled precious stuffed animals while one child held an assortment of papers, pens, books and buttons.

This third child, my eccentric five-year-old daughter, was adamant about going last insisting that her Show and Tell would be the longest. Little did we know the great truth harbored in her statement. To her dismay she drew the number two spot. Still my nine-year-old son went first providing a proper and well-ordered accounting of each of his stuffed animals, listing their names and explaining what he liked about each one. He received a warm round of applause and took his seat. The five-year-old was up next.

She began by passing out note cards and pencils to each participant. Apparently this was going to be an interactive Show and Tell. “Everybody draw a picture or write a story about a Bible story,” she instructed. To my surprise the three other children obeyed dutifully, as did I. Meanwhile our little instructor pulled out unrelated items and proceeded to describe each in great detail. These items included but were not limited to buttons, books, and a balloon you might use as a belt – or so we were told!

Impatiently, the nine-year-old asked, “What is your Show and Tell about?” “It’s about Jesus,” she chirped matter-of-factly. As if this answer should suffice, the kindergartener continued unruffled, “Now who wants to read The Ten Commandments?” My seven-year-old’s hand shot up. I sat in wonder, but before the young volunteer reached the third commandment, our fearless leader interrupted, “Who wants me to shoot a rubber band at them?” This time two more hands shot up; it was of course the boys.

Shortly after the rubber band war, the platform princess handed me a Bible and advised, “Mommy, it’s your turn to read a Bible verse.” “Which one do you want me to read,” I asked. “You choose, I can’t read,” she said. “Anybody want a sticker?” she followed.

Before the young audience could weary of her theatrics my darling diva wrapped up the show by asking who wanted to be first to share the Bible story they had written on their note card. One by one each storyteller stood to reveal the small piece of history he or she had recorded.

It was a hard act to follow, and it really was more of a Show than a Tell, but it was beautiful. It was lengthy, and it was the most unique display I had ever been a part of. However, next time I will be careful to limit each of the children to one item, and I will make sure that our long-winded, little, ladybug labors over her litany last.

We All Need a Little Enrichment

This year we joined a new homeschooling group and decided to experiment with some enrichment classes. Most of these classes are taught by a mom within the group who has a gifting or an interest in a particular area. Others are taught by professional artists and licensed teachers.

We signed each of our children up for three one hour classes once a week. Mondays are now affectionately referred to as our “school day.” The kids love their subjects ranging from Zoology to Public Speaking.

At dinner one Monday we were discussing what each of the kids had done in class that day. They regaled us with stories about the snake their Zoology teacher brought to class, the Dinosaur speech given in Public Speaking and the crafts made in Art (God bless that woman for giving me a break from scissors and glue)!

After most of the evening banter had died down and the little ones had splintered off to get ready for bed our 9-year-old lingered at the table. He took the opportunity to fill us in on his last class of the day, American Constitution and The Declaration of Independence. All at once he whipped out The Bill of Rights and proceeded to read them for us. Asking if we wanted to hear them was a foregone conclusion.

As our son read he paused to break down each amendment explaining what it meant. We listened politely as he continued, but the further he got down the list the more sober we became – taking in the truth and weight of the words he spoke.

Upon reaching the Fifth Amendment he needed a little help; so my husband and I took turns expounding on the meanings of the amendments. When we got to number ten I read,

“The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
“What does that mean?” he asked.

“Well, it means that the states and the people should have more power than the Federal government,” I said.

Holding up his Bill of Rights he said with conviction, “Well somebody needs to show this to the Federal government!”

Indeed! Perhaps we all need a little Enrichment. I can’t remember the last time I looked at the Bill of Rights much less gave them due consideration. In light of this and the precipice on which our nation hangs, I am listing our Bill of Rights below. May it be an encouragement to us, a reminder of our great freedom, and an admonition of the responsibility we have to preserve what we have been so richly blessed with!

“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” Luke 12:48b

The Bill of Rights

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.

Amendment VII

In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

*http://www.constitution.org/billofr_.htm

I'm Just Playin'...

What a wonderful invention – the Wii. It affords you the mindless fun of a video game, the unmerited skill of an athlete, and the favor awarded an Olympian upon successful completion of his appointed task.

We are not video game junkies in the Murie household, but we do occasionally succumb to the lure of competition.

One gray Saturday afternoon I observed a commotion coming from the TV room. I walked in to the pleasant hoots and high-fives of my four children. They were congratulating one another for scoring well in target practice.

I stopped and watched as each child in turn swung the Wii remote like a golf club while aiming for one of two targets on a virtual golf course. After awhile the kids turned and convinced both myself and my husband to compete.

We agreed. I was up first and stepped to the tee, club in hand. My first attempt wasn’t bad. We watched as my ball sailed over the first target and landed on the next garnering 50 points for me!

“Good Job, Mom!” they encouraged.

I patted myself on the back and prepared for my next swing. This time the ball flew over both targets – a miss.

“That’s okay Mom, try it again,” sang a chorus of little angels.

I did and struck gold with a perfect swing and a bull’s-eye worth 100 points. The crowd went wild! You would have thought I had won the Nobel Prize – so undeserving, so unexpected. There was jumping, there were high-fives, and there were shrieks of joy! “I could get used to this,” I thought.

I continued the game consistently scoring 25 points here and 50 points there, but every time I hit 100 there was a spontaneous celebration as I was swarmed by my adoring fans. I let myself enjoy the praise and used it to propel me toward the finish. After all, I now had to live up to my children’s great expectations and my ill-perceived potential.

After capturing the high score I left the game pumped up, feeling rather good about myself. In my children’s eyes I was the champion – the conquering hero. How kind they were to lend me accolades that I did not deserve. I recall the look in their eyes. There was no judgment, no jealousy, just unbridled excitement and satisfaction that I had done well.

Oh, that I could turn around and reinvest those smiles and cheers in each of my children as they live and learn, rise and fall come what may.

Perhaps I can prepare for this feat by heeding these words.

“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you will be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” Hebrews 3:13

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverb 16:24

You're Invited to Dinner

In many families the dinner table is a traditional space for sharing. One is likely to find laughter, inane banter, discipline and the recalling of events from the day.

Our family embraces this time-honored tradition; so one evening in accordance with dinner table bylaws I asked my 9-year-old son to tell his dad what he had done that day. Always the joker he responded with a crooked smile, “What do you mean Mom? I did a lot of things today.”

I gave him the look – the look that all moms give their irreverent children. I held his gaze for a moment before my easygoing husband interrupted, “Why don’t you tell me about your day, bud. How did it begin?”

With what appeared to be another stunt from his playbook my son tilted his head and spoke thoughtfully, “My day began by getting up. I never know whether to get up or stay in bed. I think it’s because I’m always so tired.”

I was prepared to pounce on his impudent reply before I recognized the sincerity in his voice. There was no hint of humor or sarcasm. In fact, it was as if he had been waiting all day for someone to come along and unlock the vault of his mind. My husband had cracked the safe with just the right combination of words. What he found was a wealth of information provided through a detailed accounting of our son’s rather routine day.

Moments like these remind me that my kids are interesting, fragile, and more than ready to share. However, I do not always find myself as tender and ready to listen. Their demands are so many and so frequent that I have difficulty maintaining a proper perspective where they are concerned.

I struggle consistently with how to block out the distractions children bring without blocking them out altogether. I want to hear my kids without it requiring a meltdown, a mediator or a disciplinarian, but too often this is exactly the point where I step in. Unfortunately, the result is that I sometimes miss the precious moments, the moments of innocence.

I long to really see my children and to see myself praising them for who they are and what they have done right rather than finding fault with them in their moments of weakness. Clearly, I must pay attention. I must resist the urge to say, “No, not now – later,” and I must not assume that my kids are headed down the path of mischief and mayhem. Why borrow trouble? There will be plenty of opportunities to correct them without anticipating imagined infractions.

Luke writes:
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.Luke 6:37-38

I am challenged by this scripture. These very words give me pause when I am tempted to withhold from my children the grace which is extended to me each day.

While addressing this challenge our family will continue to set the table with exciting stories serving up both grace and correction along with a fair helping of sarcasm and wit. Beyond that my hope is for our table to be an open forum where family and friends linger and laugh. Isn’t that what we all desire – a warm space to share our lives and the freedom to be ourselves.

“Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.”Proverb 17:1