My Love is Not...

A confession...

My love is not patient
My love is not kind
My love is very far I fear from love that is divine

Sometimes I am self-seeking
I must humbly confess
I am easily angered and seeking redress

But I long to change and set these sins aside
To start a brand new life as Jesus’ spotless bride

I set my heart and my mind on what is above
And rest in only these three things,
True Faith, Hope and Love


Today my 7-year-old daughter planned our Bible time activity and picked out a Scripture for us to read. She chose 1 Corinthians 13, commonly referred to as the Love chapter. This chapter is a beautiful expression of what true love looks like. Most of us have probably heard these scriptures referenced many times over in wedding ceremonies, books and even movies - but how often do we see these words in action or take them to heart?

As our little crew read and discussed the Love chapter I realized how woefully inadequate my attempts at loving are. I do try, but I get so frustrated, impatient and rattled. How can I ever measure up to this incredible standard.

As I contemplated my weakness and my children's weakness what became evident was our desperate need for God. If we were going to love anybody what we needed was an infusion of God's power, and the only way to connect with that power is to connect with God.

The way to connect with God is through studying His Word and spending time in prayer. Those are the two elements you just can't leave out - simple answers which require a not-so-simple daily discipline.

Discipline is always easier said than done. The truth is I need God's strength and power to even sit still and give him 20 minutes of my time, but when I do, I find that he supplies the time I was lacking for my other activities. I never regret having spent time with him, and I discover so much more than I came looking for in the process.

I could easily make the excuse that the Love chapter is too hard, even impossible to live out, but every now and then I do see glimpses of that love, and it is beautiful. It brings tears to my eyes, life to my body, and an overwhelming desire to share it with others.

The most vivid illustration of this love is Christ's selfless sacrifice for you and me on the cross. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

How can we resist sharing this good news or fail to respond with devotion?

Dead Bugs and Other Dead Things

“Mommy, I found a roly poly bug. It’s dead! I want to keep it as a pet!”

“You can’t keep it as a pet. It’s dead!” I told my 3-year-old.

“But I want to show it to everybody!”

During this conversation I was reading Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest. He writes, “Beware if in sharing your personal testimony you continually have to look back saying ‘Once, a number of years ago, I was saved.’ If you have put your ‘hand to the plow’ and are walking in the light there is no looking back.”

It’s so tempting to live in the past gazing on it with rose-tinted glasses remembering selectively the good times as better, easier or less confusing than the current state. I’ve noticed a tendency in myself to exalt such periods so that nothing in the present could possibly measure up to my slanted memory.

This is true especially in times of spiritual drought. I think back to the last time I felt close to God, more at peace, more alive. I try to conjure up good feelings about God and myself by doing good things or contemplating the last thing I remember that made me feel something. But doing that is like expecting yesterday’s meals to provide the sustenance I need for today. It only lasts for so long. If anyone goes on like that day after day depending on last week’s resources, they’ll become weak and eventually die.

I’ve never been more aware of my lack of resources than when I find someone else in need of refreshment, and I have nothing more to offer than my dead bugs. “Aren’t they lovely?” I ask. I know they’re dead, but once they were alive and man they used to move. You should have seen them then. Oh, the things you could have learned!” I know kind of gross. Time has allowed rot and decay to set in, and now only the shell of life remains, the memory of what once was.

Jesus said,

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.” John 15:1-7

God doesn’t want us to live in the past. He wants us to grow from it as he cuts away the DEAD things that inhibit our growth. It’s exciting to think that He has something new and ALIVE for me today. I need only stop, ask and listen. I’m curious and expectant to see what he has in store. I just hope it doesn’t involve bugs.